Since 2016 has begun, a lot of shit has happened to me. And the frustrating part of it all is that all that shit could have easily been avoided had I been more careful. Had I been more careful, I would have not have gotten scammed, I would have not have hit that parked car, I could have kept an argument with a friend from escalating to the point that it did, I could have prevented a lot more undesirable situations.
I started feeling really down on myself, thinking of all the trouble I could have avoided and all of the aftermath I’m still dealing with as a result of my actions and inaction. And then I realized, all these shitty experiences are lessons. This is essentially the universe screaming at me to get my shit together, to be careful, to put more thought into the things I do.
And also, all the things that have happened are comparatively small things. Sure, I got scammed and lost $150, but there are other people who get scammed and lose thousands of dollars. And instead of hitting a parked car, I could have hit a moving car which would have resulted in far greater and more serious consequences, both for me and the other driver.
The things I have encountered are shitty, annoying, and troublesome, but things could be a lot worse. And I would rather learn my lesson to be careful from small mistakes than from large ones.
So my advice to everyone that has had something shitty happen to them recently is to maintain a sense of perspective, and look for the lesson inside the shitty thing. Don’t let the shitty things that happen to you be worthless experiences that bring you down – use them to make yourself into a stronger, smarter person.
Don’t do it. Nothing good comes from thinking and thinking and overthinking shit that happened ages ago. If someone did you wrong or hurt you in some way, the only thing that’s going to happen from you sitting there and thinking about it is that you’re going to feel stressed and angry and hurt. Don’t invite needless negativity into your life. To quote Elsa, “Let it go.”
And definitely don’t throw that historic shit back in someone’s face ages after it happened. That’s just low. If you have a problem with someone, tell them as soon as possible. Like if your friend was rude and obnoxious to you at a party and didn’t apologize for it afterwards, don’t just sit there and let those negative thoughts and feelings fester and then unload on your friend half a year later. Wait a day or two to get your thoughts and words in order, and then talk to them.
Bottom line: If you’re going to say shit, say it while it’s still relevant. Not saying anything while thinking a bunch of shit about the person only to finally complain to them months or years later is like applying for a job months after the application was due – unwanted and tacky.
Everyone usually breaks their New Year’s resolutions within the first week or so, and I think part of the reason is that the word “resolution” is kind of intimidating. When you ‘resolve’ to do something, it means that you are committing yourself wholeheartedly to completing a task. This can be intimidating if you have little to no experience with the task in question; ‘resolving’ to complete such a novel undertaking is akin to committing to marriage without first dating.
In contrast, I believe the term ‘goal’ to be more encouraging. A goal is something you aim for, but aren’t obliged to necessarily reach. A goal is something able to be broken down into smaller parts, smaller ‘goals’, which can make the journey of reaching a goal less arduous. A goal is something that grabs your motivation, while still allowing you freedom to decide how to adjust and navigate.
For these reasons, this year I have no resolutions, but I have several goals. And since my mind is constantly careening with various thoughts and things I want to do in a very disorganized fashion, I thought that it would be beneficial to write down my goals for this year here, on this blog, so I can always refer back to them and help myself stay on course.
And so, my goals for 2016 are:
Create a WordPress blog.
(Oh look at that, got one done already. :D)
2. Get a job either working with children or something environmental.
3. Work on my art and figure out how best to sell it.
4. Begin synthesizing information for my project.
5. Learn how to knit.
6. Write a book.