In a purple state of mind

Purple is the color of passion
shivers of anxiety racing through my nerves
action potentials firing off

connecting-connecting-connecting-connecting-connecting-connecting-every neuron-connecting

dendritic chaotic fractals spiraling out
every inch of my skin is pricked,
shocked,
the electricity looking for a way out

My amygdala spits out emotion like a nail gun
my heart and brain under attack
Purple, purple
leaks out my eyes
and sails the sound waves out my mouth
while my brain changes like a chameleon:
Excited magenta
Melancholy violet
Dark, stormy aubergine

Sizzling and boiling, something is cooking.

via Daily Prompt: Purple

Rumination

Rumination is an intoxicating drink
that makes you want to think and think and think
because maybe if I think enough I can solve this,
he will love me,
she will forgive me,
they will give me another chance.

Rumination, empty sensation,
a tangled knot that won’t unravel
no matter how much you tug on the string.

Rumination, hurricane of worry
with an Eye so calm the air is paralyzed,
while self-indulgent chaos destroys genuine action,
thoughts spiraling out and out
breaking connections.

Rumination, where obsession becomes your possession,
cherished and played with all day
while life is gradually swept away.

Let go of the spinning top
and let the momentum settle,
there is only so much you can do,
the rest is up to Them.

 

via Daily Prompt: Ruminate

We’re drying up

Like locusts swarming wheat,
they poured into the watering hole,
filling it up with their heaving, desperate bodies
and purging it of that precious liquid
that once lazily laid
in trenches, canals, channels,
soaking in its own molecules
indulging in its own wetness.

Now that once moisturized earth has chapped lips,
dry and cracked from drought
and overuse, misuse, and pollution
of her most precious resource.

 

via Daily Prompt: Swarm

Desire

One of deepest desires and real goals in my life is a very simple one actually. I dream of my own sunlit room where I can write and draw and create, an uncluttered peaceful place where no one will disturb me, where I can just quietly work. The rest of the house or apartment that is attached to that room is not as important as that room itself. I desire and crave a sanctuary.

Currently I don’t have a place like that. I make do with the library, although I always have to wear earplugs because there’s always at least one disruptive person. And when the library is closed I work at home, although my room is too cluttered with books and clothes and things that it feels like more of an oppressive environment than one conducive to creating. Not to mention I still live at home, (that is, my parents’ home) so I usually have to wear earplugs there as well when I write because otherwise my train of thought is forced to a halt with every loud voice and noise.

The desire for a place of my own permeates my mind every so often and I find myself fantasizing about that room. I imagine a large glass window with sunlight streaming through onto a wooden desk with a small plant in one corner – an ivy or Aloe vera or fern, I still haven’t decided – the only thing that’s important is that it’s alive and vibrantly green. There isn’t much else on the desk except for my computer and a couple of pencils and pens, but there is a large drawer alongside one of the walls where all my supplies are kept: papers, notebooks, markers, colored pencils, etc. There’s also one bookshelf in the room with each book carefully chosen, each an inspiring work in its own unique way, opening new horizons in my mind to explore and use for creation. Other than that, one of the most important things in that room is space. Freedom to move, to sprawl on the carpet, to dance. Freedom and space are essential to a creative room.

In the meantime, I dream and work, so that one day I may attain this desire. 🙂

via Daily Prompt: Desire

Doubt as a positive force

When I started looking up quotes on doubt to inspire me in writing this post, I found most were negative about doubt itself as a concept, or saw doubting as a negative, even harmful action. And to an extent these sayings are valid. The saying “Distance doesn’t ruin a relationship, doubts do” is true in that physical distance itself isn’t enough to destroy a relationship, there have to be strong thoughts/feelings which lead people to decide to dissolve their union, and these thoughts/feelings can indeed be doubts about the person or the relationship itself. And of course, in some cases it may be personal insecurity or jealousy that births these doubts, but sometimes doubt forms from just taking a honest look at a relationship and realizing you just aren’t compatible with the other person, that you each have different needs and goals that the other person can’t fulfill because of who they are as people. So definitely, doubt can be harmful if it comes from a place of insecurity, but it can also be helpful if it comes from a place of wanting honesty and clarity.

I believe that doubt can be a really beneficial tool when used in the right way. I believe that it is especially healthy to practice a degree of doubt when you examine your own beliefs and ideas about the world. To scrutinize your religious, social, political, cultural beliefs and ask yourself “Why do I believe this? Where did I get the information for these beliefs? How do I know that the source(s) is trustworthy and valid? What evidence have I seen that contradicts my beliefs? What are some of the different opinions about (x) topic? How much of what I believe was taught to me from birth and echoed around those in my family/community, whether explicitly or implicitly?”

Doubt can help us better ourselves as human beings by realizing which beliefs we hold are harmful, which beliefs are false, and which beliefs need to be changed if we want to live in reality. By trimming away these harmful or false ideas from our consciousness, we help ourselves flourish as more positive individuals and become fuller, more complex-thinking human beings. 

 

via Daily Prompt: Doubt

From hesitating to creating

Hesitation is detrimental to creation
Opportunities sail on the river of time
but wait too long and they waterfall off the cliff,
smashing to bits on the jagged rocks below.

Jump in and grab them!
Even if you do not know how to swim,
the water is still shallow here
and you will not drown.

Wade out and pluck their lily petals
pink, violet, cloud blue, sunny yellow,
gathering them together
you have your own kaleidoscopic creation. 🙂

 

via Daily Prompt: Hesitate

College memories

My footsteps quicken against the pavement
as I turn walking into jogging,
breath coming out in short gasps against my chest
which rises and falls like a wave,
I can feel a tsunami building.

Running now,
my feet smack-smacking against the pavement,
vision jaggedly darting
like an EEG during epilepsy,
pavement sky tree person building bike rack umbrella
Rain?
So it isn’t just my sweat soaking into my collar,
the sky has turned on a sprinkler.

But before it turns into a Niagara
I am up!
one, two, three, four
steps
and In!

Snaking through the halls
left right left
I find the door and walk in

to take an exam.

 

via Daily Prompt: Quicken